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InsaneJournal for Evan Chambers is smarter than you. So yeah..
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| Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 |
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[Warded Private To Self] Dear Future Self Who Isn't Laughing Anymore, You. Are. A. Fucking. Moron. You are a prat. You are a bastard. A git. An arse. Low. Scum. You've done it again. Best friend gone, another friend sent to the hospital wing with his head bleeding, Morgan mad at you once again, Merle pissed, and what for? Why? You didn't even do this one on purpose! Congratulations! You're so skilled at fucking with people that you can do it passively. My, you really are talented. Teaching? No, no, that's not right. You should just see if you can sign up to be a Dementor. You're good at that job. [End Ward] [Vijaya] So, Vee. What'd my tea leaves say? [End Ward] [Ravenclaw Quidditch Team] I've decided to triple the chaser passing/shooting drills. We're still a bit too rough around the edges. We'll also work on your dodging bludgers, [End Ward] [Izz] You mad at me too? [End Ward] [Katie] Truth or truth? [End Ward] [Ryan] How's week four treating everyone? Personally, I'm quite happy with my partner and my job. I think things are really looking up. Once this week is over, it's back to business as usual and then, finally, the quidditch season will officially start. I can't wait. |
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| Thursday, August 20th, 2009 |
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( Warded Private to Self ) So, I'm thinking about going into teaching. |
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| Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 |
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I started this week off with high hopes. The idea of searching for places to live is actually somewhat useful - certainly more so than the exercise in redundancy that were cleaning lessons - and I almost found myself enjoying the idea of planning my future abode. I even found darling Dingo to be a bit entertaining in his gruff way. This seemed like it would be a much better week than last. So, of course, that has to get ruined by them taking three step backwards and forcing us into idiotic tasks. Again. Yesterday's nutrition lecture was hell. There is no other way around it. We have finally descended into the depths of Dante's Inferno and there we shall suffer. We know that cheeseburgers are bloody bad for us! We're not morons! At the very least if he had shown us how to prepare the damn stuff we'd be able to say we learned something but all we got out of this was the sort of business a two-year-old could tell you. Bloody hell, why not just hand us a bunch of differently shaped blocks and see who can put them through the right holes fast enough? It'd be just as educational. And Dingo. I refuse to call that man a Professor. First off, his books are filled with common sense and ridiculous tedium, and secondly he's just a crude little bugger. I thought for a moment he was actually going to headbutt me in class today. Thank Merlin he didn't In any case, I've settled my sights on either a studio/loft apartment on Diagon alley or going for a small two-bedroom flat with a roommate. Not as exciting as treehouses or castles or cannon embankments or piracy or guitar fortresses, but it's more suited to me than a box or under Ryan's bed and Merlin knows living with my father is not an option for a variety of reasons. Now I just need to settle on a career to pay for the bloody thing... [Warded to Morgan Coote] How are you? [End Ward] [Warded to Ryan Flint] Sparkplug's been leaving his socks all over the room again. I tried talking to him, but you'd probably have more success if you tried. You're better at convincing him than I am. [End Ward] |
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| Saturday, August 8th, 2009 |
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( Warded Private to Self ) [Warded to Seventh-Year Ravenclaws; Hexed against any Professors and doubly so against Professor Yern] On the one hand I imagine that the removal of house elf services will not be too terrible for us. Let's be honest: the only way our common room (and the boys' dorm) will ever be a mess is if Ryan gets abducted by However, this new assignment is trying to force us to reduce ourselves to menial labour. We are Ravenclaws. We do not work with our hands. We use our minds. Thus, my fellow 'Claws, I have a plan. (Yuina, this involves the slight bending of rules. I don't think we'd actually specifically be breaking any, but if you're not comfortable with my loose interpretation and loophole-seeking style, I request that you stop reading now.) Now, I don't know how many of us have an elf at home, but I know that one of us has a small little platoon of them. My brother once mentioned in one of his "I know everything" rants that the way elves apparate is not the same way wizard apparition works. Apparently, it can even work around charms that disable wizards from apparating. You are, of course, aware that one cannot apparate on Hogwarts' grounds, but I have a theory that house elves can. I've done a lot of research this evening, ever since they dropped the bit of information about taking the elves away I've been in the library, and I can't find anything that says it wouldn't work, so I think it's worth a test. If it does work, and one of us happens to have elves at home that aren't terribly busy because his or her manor is often empty, I see no reason why said elves couldn't pop over here every once in a while to help us out. Plus, it's only for three weeks, so it won't be so bad for the elves. They're bound to reinstate elf service once the rest of the school arrives, right? Thoughts? [End Ward] |
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| Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 |
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[Warded Private to Self] Spiders? Seriously? Not fair. No, no, not cool. Not at all. That was just bloody BAD. Dear Future Self whom will hopefully look back at this and laugh, Today you might have been shaking uncontrollably. Your voice might have cracked every time you spoke. Oh, and you Sincerely, You [End Ward] Well, apparently whatever strange virus I caught in the night is starting to leave me. I'm still shaking a bit, but those odd fainting spells are gone and no more of those vocal abnormalities. It's a good thing Professor Westwicker let me out of class when she did - I barely made it to the hospital wing before things got even worse. Would someone be able to help me learn those pest-repelling charms that I missed? The spider one sounds particularly tricky, and I want to make sure I get it completely right. [Warded to Ryan Flint and Sparkplug McCormack] For the love of Merlin tell me I didn't actually faint. [End Ward] |
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| Monday, August 3rd, 2009 |
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[Hexed Private to Self] Things we've learned already this school year: If you sleep in the Room of Requirement, and you dream that you need something. You get it. That was not fun. Note to self: Waking up in the Room of Requirement, while fun in theory, becomes awkward when both you and Katie are wearing nothing but your skivvies. Now, I remember what happened and I remember thinking it made sense at the time, but, really, that's just not a good choice. Ever. Keep your pants on, Evan. Shirt too. Thank Merlin you two are smart enough to realise separate beds were in order. That would have been unbearably awkward. New Note: Just don't drink. Ever. It's safer that way. [End Hex] [Hexed Private Against School Staff and Professors, Particularly "Professor" Westwicker] Xavier's already covered general complaints upon the scheduling of the new class, so I think I will take this opportunity to display my ire for the subject matter. Cleaning. Yes, cleaning. Something that you don't even need magic to do. Something we've all been doing since childhood. They're going to reteach it to us. How quaint. Even if this was only being forced upon those of us without House Elves, it'd still be ridiculous to expect this "Professor" Westwicker to be able to teach use something that we can't learn in all of five minutes on our own and even if we can't learn it, we can still do it without magic. Moreover, I fail to see what we need to be in groups for to learn how to clean. I honestly find the age-old stratagem of "Let's force the kids to work together so they build lifelong friendships" to be nothing short of bollocks. If we haven't managed to drag ourselves together over the seven bloody years we've been stuck in this castle, then we're not meant to be friends. It's that simple. You can't be all buddy-buddy with every chap you meet. Life clearly doesn't work that way, and forcing us to cooperate isn't going to change that, it's just going to lead to tension and drama and possibly a broken nose and a misfired hex. You can't manufacture companionship, and even if you could, my experience makes me question how long any friendship can truly last. People change, often toward the bad, and you have to move on. It's a tragic but important fact of life that the Hogwarts administration is apparently unable to fully grasp and the fact that they are so incredibly misguided is rather concerning if you think about it. How can we expect them to teach us about life after school if they clearly don't understand it themselves? In short, this is one giant mistake. |
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| Wednesday, July 15th, 2009 |
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Interesting carnival, wasn't it? ( A Long Letter Hexed Private to Self ) Anywho: In the time since we found out about this, has anyone happened to talk to the folks who've taken this class in previous years? Anyone know exactly how bad a situation we're in for? I got the books, and I started flipping through the ones for the new class and it looks pretty... well, silly, to be honest. Truth told, what I'm really not looking forward to is potions. Sanders still won't let me escape. I think he's managed to convince himself they'll build him a monument if I can make something without blowing up the dungeons. [Warded to Spencer Nott] This might seem rather out of the blue, but you're still on my side, right Spence? |
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| Saturday, July 4th, 2009 |
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( Privately Hexed Messages to Ryan, Izzy, Kirke, Yuina, Merle, Nadine, and Evan himself [And a crossed out bit for Morgan] ) |
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| Friday, July 3rd, 2009 |
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[Hexed Private to Ryan Flint, Spencer Nott, and Sparkplug McCormack] So... apparently I'm Quidditch Captain. Yay me? [End Hex] [Hexed To All Current Members of Ravenclaw House] Hello folks. I am sure that most of you know me or at least know of me, but for any of you that don't, my name is Evan Chambers and I will be your Quidditch Captain this year. Now, any of you who have followed our team over the last few years know that we have, sadly, not taken the Hogwarts Qudditch Cup since my first year, a time before any of the current members were on the team. This needs to change. I can not- no, I will not leave Hogwarts at the end of this year without winning the cup once. As Captain this year, I am determined to show the other houses why it is our mascot is an eagle. We will outdo them. We will outfly them. We will outplay them. We will win. Come September, we will hold tryouts as usual to fill out any spots we've got open, and we will only be taking the best of the best. So, if I were you, I'd start practicing now because this year is ours by rights, and I will be damned if any snake, lion, or badger stands in our way. [End Hex] [Hexed Private to Ryan, Sparkplug, and Spencer] Does that sound alright? I don't want to come across as too hard, but, dammit, I want that cup! [End Hex] Well, it seems that I am now the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain. Everyone ready for a good season? We are. |
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| Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 |
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Mor, I just wanted to say Mor, I I'm sor I know that I don't You I just We Once Please Kirke said Last night So [Hexed Private to Merle Sloper] Merle I I just We need to talk I lied I wasn't completely honest I think We So... the Falcons are doing pretty well this season. Managed to actually show the Harpies what's what in last night's game, according to the wireless. Some folks are saying they might actually manage to take the regionals this year. It's a shame we didn't go out to see them play, but as long as they keeping playing like they are, I can accept that. I've got high hopes for the new beater they've got. If he keeps improving, in a few seasons he could give either one of the legendary Broadmoor brothers a run for their money. Well, maybe not Kevin, but certainly Karl. Any thoughts, folks? [Hexed Private To Self] Bravo, Ev. Fantastic save there. Really managed to open up that time. |
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| Wednesday, June 24th, 2009 |
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[Hexed against Morgan, Kirke, Vincent, Nadine, Finnigan, Imogene, and anyone else whom may use this as a means to poison me.] Well, my father has, yet again, decided to cancel the "annual" Chambers Men trip to Falmouth to catch the Falcons play Now, you would expect that I would enjoy this. As stated in my first entry for this summer, And that brings me to my reason for telling you any of this: I need recipes. Easy ones. Cheap ones. Quick ones. I have a week until father and the elves leave, at which point I will need to either cook for myself, starve, or start spontaneously visiting all of you whenever I'm hungry. Personally, I don't want to deal with options B or C, so... any suggestions? [End Hex] |
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| Monday, June 22nd, 2009 |
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[[Hexed Private, Personal, Confidential, Just For Me, etc.]] Dear future self whom will hopefully look back on these entries and laugh at their stupidity, As you know, you are a genius, but you can sometimes be quite an idiot, as shown with how you reacted to this whole list business. Took you far too long to figure out what the lists meant, and that answer was certainly not worth the effort. That said, for the sake of distraction and satisfying one's curiosity, you have decided to compose your own list, which is hereby attached. Nadine Zabini Finnigan Yuina Abbey Zephyr Pulaski Lyric Longbottom Laurel Corner Aviya Goldstein Rilo Wagtail Decent-looking girls I have yet to meet Imogene Not-so-decent, in looks and personality, girls I have yet to meet Spencer, Ryan, and/or Sparkplug Highly Attractive (Relatively speaking) Centaur Females My left hand Morgan Please excuse the crossed-out segments, future self. This was oddly more difficult than originally imagined. Should have done a draft. [[End Hex]] |
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| Sunday, June 21st, 2009 |
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[[Warded Against Nadine, Merle, Ryan, Izzy, and Spencer]] The next person to send me an owl will get hexed. I am not joking. Do not test me. |
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| Saturday, June 20th, 2009 |
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[[Hexed Private Against Anyone With Two X Chromosomes, And Doubly So Against Nadine]] Alright, lads. Now, as some of you may or may not have realized, Nadine has constructed a list of our names in some order or other and is stoutly refusing to let anyone know what it's about. To be honest, it's driving me a bit mad. Now, my plan is to construct a mostly random list as if I knew the pattern behind her list, and judging from the girls' reactions, discern the meaning. I am aware that this is precisely what Nadine wants and that I am, in fact, playing into her hands. Still, I feel like the payoff will be worth it. The biggest risk I can see is that they'll all get offended and try to hex me. I might need a bit of backup, should that occur. A favor, if you will. [[End Hex]] Must give all credit to Nadine for the idea - figure it's a good way to make sure we're all on the same page, eh? Hope nobody's too heartbroken over their placement. Merle Sloper Lyric Longbottom Izzy Finnigan Nadine Zabini Rose Weasley Aviya Goldstein Alexandria Boot Laurel Corner Rilo Wagtail Bridget O'Henry Zephyr Pulaski Ruby Davies Dominique Weasley Imogene Nott [[Resume Prior Hex]] If I don't make it out of this alive, Spencer gets my comics and Sparky can take my bed to tie to his and make a double for himself (and any company he has over). Ryan gets my broom. [[End Hex]] [[Hexed Privately To Nadine]] Let's see how this works out... [[End Hex]] |
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| Sunday, June 14th, 2009 |
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Well, that was certainly an interesting end to the year, Nifflers running about stealing anything that sparkles. I'm glad to report that I haven't lost anything to the kleptomaniacal rodents, but if I spot any of your missing items, I'll let you know I'm glad the year's over though - I just couldn't take one more potions class. I'm this close to smacking Sanders upside the head and telling him I quit - he actually assigned me homework over the summer! If he expects me to try all this during my free time, he's got another thing coming - particularly considering the odds that I'll end up burning my house down. Father's on my back enough, I don't particularly need any more reasons for him to threaten disowning me. As it is, I'm not exactly looking forward to going home, but I won't be of age until September, so I'm sadly stuck. At least I'll get to be alone, since Lysander and Demetrius are (finally) moving to London for work. Finally, those oafs will be gone and I have the entire room to myself. Once again I say: when you have children, do not make three of them share a room, no matter the room's size. It will not work out well in the end. Honestly. Anywho, I should probably get packing. Evan, signing off. [[Warded to Spencer Nott]] I didn't want to tell the others because, well, it'd be a bit embarrassing, but have you seen that old necklace I keep in the bottom of my trunk? You know, the one that belonged to my mum? I could have sworn I kept it locked up ever since those damn things got out but I can't find it now. [[End Ward]] |
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| Thursday, June 11th, 2009 |
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| ( Evan Eliot Chambers ) | ||||
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InsaneJournal for Evan Chambers is smarter than you. So yeah..
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